Sometimes…
you just have to say “Fnck it. Thug life. Do it.” Things may not end up the way you want it to but if you never take that first step you’ll never go anywhere. I forgot who said it or where I read it from but someone said something like, “You’re so neutral that you can’t move”. I can’t remember exactly what was said but essentially what it boiled down to was that it’s ok to refrain from taking action and analyzing the situation before moving but if you don’t eventually decide to move you will never go anywhere. True, you will never fail, or feel pain or heartbreak, but you will also never find happiness, love and success.
I think I have been neutral for a bit too long. I want to start taking action. I don’t, however, want to make reckless decisions which is the original reason why I became so neutral in the first place. Well, change won’t happen immediately but I’m trying to take those first baby steps.
I’m in a weird state of mind right now. I’m out of the house. I’m back in school and doing things that I did not think I would ever really do. I’m meeting some awesome new people. I’m kind sort of keeping up with old friends. I’m finding new things that I have interest in.
There is just a torrent of things coming my way and I’m trying not to get overwhelmed. But I appreciate the fact that all of this is coming my way because for far too long I felt like my life was at a standstill. It’s nice to feel busy again. Hopefully I remember to look back at this post later on when things get really hectic to remind myself that I wanted this to happen. I wanted to feel busy. I can get through this. I know I can do this. I have to do this. And it’s comforting to know that I have people who have my back and will help me get through this. They will drag me through this if it ever gets to the point that I decide to quit because they have faith in me, sometimes more faith in me that I have in myself. Not to make this post take a religious turn, but I have to mention it. I also know that God will also help through everything. I won’t ever claim to be an avid religious person but I have my faith in God and still ask for help when things get tough.
I know this post may seem like things are crazy but in all honesty they aren’t. Eventually they will but things are going well right now.
Note to myself: Fnck it. Thug Life. Do it.
